How to slay your 2020 goals without stressing (a quickie guide)
NEW YEAR, NEW YOU?
LOL. That’s cute. (CAUSE THE MIRROR SAYS I’M STILL ME, JUST A DAY OLDER)
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but here goes:
Just because it’s January doesn’t mean you need to expect yourself to be an entirely different person, put pressure on yourself to achieve some arbitrary goal, OR suddenly nail that morning routine you’ve been wanting to nail since forever.
If you’re like me and dreamt of 1001 goals for 2020 throughout the month of December and now you’re wondering if you bit off more than you can chew (because #realtalk you’re still kinda exhausted from the holiday season)...
I wrote a little blog post JUST FOR YOU on how to achieve your goals without stressing yourself the f*ck out.
It’s excellent to dream big, set huge goals, and stretch yourself.
As a matter of fact, this is a huge part of what I help my clients do on a regular basis: get laser clear on their BIG vision and what they’re moving towards.
And stretching yourself is super important - it’s how you grow as a human and a business leader.
But what happens when you stretch yourself in too many areas at once?
You snap. Like a rubber band.
Also like a rubber band, you can ONLY stretch yourself in ONE direction at a time in order to use that stretch to propel you forward.
Now, before you run off and grab a rubber band because I KNOW that made you want to shoot rubber bands across the room like you’re thirteen years old again…
Let’s get into the steps for making sure you can stretch without snapping.
#1: Boil that list of goals down, down, down.
Listen, I’m a highly creative person with a LOT to give the world. Like a LOT. A lot, a lot. So I fully understand the stress and strain of wanting to DO IT ALL AND FAST. You might feel like you’re running out of time. Or like if you just “time manage” properly it’s all possible. OR you might just think to yourself “hmmm… I can totally focus on my health AND my business AND my relationships AND my finances AND my creative pursuits AND starting a family AND AND AND...
Here’s the truth: life won’t stop just because you’re not giving a specific area the right amount of INTENTIONAL attention.
You won’t “miss” meeting the love of your life because you were busy focusing on your other dreams. You won’t “lose” the perfect client because going to the gym in the morning is a new non-negotiable.
It’s very easy in a world where “manifesting your dreams” is being marketed as a legit way to get what you want to get scared that if we are not ACTIVELY in the pursuit of a goal, it won’t manifest, come true, be attracted into our world, etc.
Do you really believe that if something is meant for you, you can mess that up?
Because the REAL trick to “manifesting” isn’t “calling shit in,” it’s LETTING SHIT GO. It’s detachment. It’s accessing the FEELING STATE of what you really want (abundance, joy, that new Louis Vuitton, that trip to Barcelona, that waitlist of clients…), and then, focusing on what you CAN do.
What it’s NOT -- staring at a to-do list with guilt, shame, and panic that you’re not doing enough to “make it happen.”
The truth? You’re powerful, but you’re not that powerful.
There’s plenty you can control (and you should) but knowing where YOUR power ends and the Universe/God/forces greater than you begins is a really important boundary to be aware of.
The point? Have a TREMENDOUS list of goals and desires.
But only choose THREE things that you are actively “efforting” towards.
The rest? Let that shit go. Assign it all to your higher power.
And focus your energy on what truly matters to you.
#2: Choose what matters to you MOST and eliminate the rest.
My process for this is simple and intuitive.
I look at my list of desires, goals, dreams.
And listen, a LOT of my goals make me excited, joyful, in love because I LOVE the work that I do -- I’m blessed that way. But in order to eliminate some goals, I HAVE to get clear on what I can let go of. SO do you!
So here’s how to choose:
The goals that I know CANNOT LEAVE THAT LIST are the ones that make me feel the most intense heartbreak to release. And I know... there might be heartbreak for a lot of them.
It’s important to remember that some of those goals aren’t being eliminated permanently, they’re being eliminated temporarily -- like a ‘snooze’ button.
But one big problem I see with some of my clients -- who are coaches, consultants, service providers, creatives -- is they set TOO MANY goals, and instead of achieving ONE awesome thing their energy is so divided that they actually get nothing done.
Worst of all -- they then feel SHITTY about not accomplishing all they set out to accomplish at the end of the year.
Personally, I’d rather under-promise and overdeliver (to anyone, including myself), or choose my three MAIN intentions and give the rest to my higher power -- then burn myself out trying to do more than is humanly possible.
If the heartbreak method feels hard for you, here’s the reverse way:
Choose the three goals that give you the most JOYFUL feelings in your body.
Personally, too many things give me joyful feelings, so I have to use the heartbreak method to get clarity on what can be released!
#3: Now that you’ve chosen THREE goals, WRITE THEM DOWN!
Then break them down into bite-size chunks.
You’ve got options here.
You can parse these out into one goal every 4 months, or you can break your goals into quarterly or monthly “benchmarks,” or you can flow through the year and continue to use this list of top three goals as a guideline for your decision-making and planning month-to-month and week-to-week.
For example, my three big goals -- things that I am committed to taking action on -- are:
Help 100 female entrepreneurs develop their story and business
Write at least one new screenplay
Get back behind the camera and direct
So every decision I make is based around these very specific goals!
For example, I decided that the best way I could help 100 female entrepreneurs is by mentoring other copywriters and business coaches to grow their business by doing the story coaching work I do. In the past, when I had an agency, one of my favorite things to do was mentor and develop the writers on my team.
And obviously, I can’t work with 100 clients privately.
(Last year, I worked with about 20 clients privately.)
But I CAN train others to do the story work I do --- and make a greater impact that way.
I realized that if I help more copywriters and coaches do the deep story work I do, using my framework and approach, I could help even MORE women get their story out more effectively.
And listen, maybe your goal is something else… like getting clear on your story to finally write that book, or booking more clients and finally revising your messaging and story on your website to help with that.
What’s important is that you’re clear on your goal. It’s measurable. It’s achievable. It’s realistic. And it gives you the tingles of joy everywhere -- with a bit of uncomfortable stretch -- but none of the stressy “I NEED TO CLONE MYSELF TO GET THIS DONE” feels.
Here’s to making 2020 your best year yet!
xx
Jamie
