Why PERSONALITY sells (Even better than sex does!)

Scantily clad models with perfect pouts, holding Gucci handbags. Justin Bieber in his boxers, repping Calvin Klein cologne. Jessica Simpson washing a dirty car, with garden hose in one hand and Carl’s Jr burger in the other. Open a magazine, turn on the TV, peruse the internet, and you’ll realize the old adage is true: sex sells.

And, hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. Bring on the chiseled, handsome dudes with the treasure trails and the washboard abs! I’m just gonna be over here, minding my own business, objectifying their bodies in my imagination with a super sexy NSFW daydream. No big.  

:: 5 Minutes Later ::

Huh? What? Where was I? Sorry, sorry, I’m back.

Look, while your grandma might gasp at the alluring aspect of lust, YOU know and I know it’s got power. After 15 years of working in the nightlife industry, and 5 years of working in film and TV, I’m well aware that a saucy wink or steamy joke can definitely get it up—the sale, I mean! (Ok, and possibly other things). Hell, I even wrote a screenplay called “Hannah Has a Ho-Phase” (which shot up to #1 Hulu right after it’s release for 3 weeks running). So, yeah, I know that sex sells. But we’re not here to talk about sex (much as I LOVE to talk about sex).

We’re here to talk about PERSONALITY.


Because personality sells more.

PERSONALITY is what makes people fall in love with you, and love > sex.

Think about it: SEX is a fun romp that could last anywhere from 20 seconds to 20 minutes (depending on your partner, obvi), but LOVE lasts a lifetime.

Love is all you need, love conquers all things, love can move mountains. Love can make you do crazy things—like giving away the last piece of pizza to your BF, or waiting to watch the most recent episode on Netflix until they can watch it with you (true sacrifice, you guys).

Yeah sure, you might have potential clients who flirt around with visits to your website, who toy with the idea of working with you, who sneak back and forth between you and your competitor. But the clients who fall in love with you are going to be loyal as FUCK (And not just “DTF”). You don’t want booty call clients who will be there one minute and gone the next—you want starry-eyed, love-sick clients who can’t get enough of you and what you’re selling.

So the question is: do you want the sex kind of sale, or the love one?

That’s what I thought.

So why do people fall in love? Two reasons: they either see themselves in you (and know it), or they see themselves in you (and don’t know it, because they think you have something they don’t have or can’t have). This is some deep psychology shit, guys.

In order for people to see themselves in you, they need to get to know you, for real. They need to connect to you. And the main way that potential clients connect to you is—yup, you guessed it— through your copy. Visuals can paint a pretty picture, but words make the world wide web market go ‘round, y’all.

Did you know that 100% of online sales require effective copy?

The right words, in the right place, can bring in the dough BIG TIME. Companies have even been known to lose MILLIONS of dollars in revenue from just a few website spelling mistakes. Ooof!

I know, I know, with the pitfalls and potential for disaster it can be a bit daunting to make sure your copy is really speaking the language of love. But like a good wing-woman, I will tell it to you straight: stop stalking that potential lover you’re crushing on—pull the trigger and talk to them already!

I know you might be thinking…

“But Jamie, what if my PERSONALITY/POV/voice/self is unlikeable/unloveable/too controversial??”

ALSO GOOD. Trust me.

The truth is, even if you approach a potential consumer and they HATE what you’re about, that can still be good. Bad feelings are strong feelings. Polarization is a great sign that you’re doing it right—you’re expressing a point of view that’s STRONG, instead of vague or wishy-washy.

When you hone in on what you’re REALLY about, you’ll slowly weed out the not-quite-right clients and find the long-lasting, satisfying members of your market that, you know—fit just right. (Tee tee).

Middle School sex jokes aside, let’s talk about the various components of personality as it pertains to your BRAND, shall we?



Speaking of Middle School—remember when you and your first boyfriend cemented your love for each other through a mutual obsession with Nirvana’s “Nevermind”? (I am TOTALLY dating myself here). Shared likes/dislikes bond us to other people who feel the same way, so expressing those likes/dislikes opens the door to that mutually-obsessed kinda love.



What do you care about? What do you support? People who care about/support similar things are going to be drawn in by shared values—so whatever you “stand” for, make it super clear in the story you’re telling about yourself.



See: Values, religious/philosophical/spiritual edition. Make your big WHY and worldviews totally clear.


The Way You Talk/Sound 

Remember last week’s blog about the importance of voice? Like moths to flame or bees to the honey, a silky-smooth and strong voice can bring in the buyers. Get comfortable writing how you speak and watch your conversion rates shoot through the roof.


Your Unique Perspective  

Are other people selling the same thing as you? All the more reason to focus on making your personality stand out. Hone your super specific slant, so those potential clients find themselves not sighing “Yawn” but shouting “Yes! Yes! Yes!”


Sense of Humor

What is your sense of humor? USE IT. Use this ALL over your copy. All over your videos. All OVER EVERYWHERE YOU CAN. WHY? Because laughing increase chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. THOSE ARE LOVE CHEMICALS—and we know love sells. (Are you hearing the cha-ching? I am.)


Don’t know how to dope up your clients with your love-sale chemicals? Keep your eyes open for a special offer coming soon. I’m also dying to hear from you, so tell me in the comments below: What’s hard for you about nailing your personality in your copy? Or, feel free to brag all about how you’re TOTALLY nailing it!

You can also pop into The Champagne Room to continue this conversation with moi!